I really don't feel like sleeping for this past few days.. really not feel like to sleep

but when i get sllep i hope i never wake up.. really never had to wake up and for that.. i hope i always in my own world..

the reason is.. whenever i slept.. and i will wake and that another day.. another day of struggle, another day of frustration and another day of problem and all the other mind-solving problem are there..

so i will sleep when im tired.. and i hope i never ever do wake up again.. i nver need to wake up to face the day light.. to face the sunshine to face all the sad things that the world kindly offer as a reward of being alive.

i will remember the thrust i am having now.. the path and the feeling that i am having now. no matter how far i go.. i will take time look back and be amazed of myself how far have i bring myself to a new me.

keep going even u are down to your knee.. keep going even u are defected and keep going as u choose the path with willingness and not by any external pressure acting on u..

今晚，现在。。
我好不想睡。。好不想。。
我不想是不要明天的到来。。
可怕？不知道，我为我自己准备了B计划。。
但，没那勇气接受，没那么勇敢！！

没有人会让你感到自卑除非你准许。。
我很自卑，什么都要赢人。。不可有片刻的失败。。
我好伤心，但，却能怎样。。

不能了，我一定要。。
一定要定下来。。要努力。要勇敢的奋斗。。
慢了就给人踩着头过。。

记住记住这只能够感觉。。他会带你到非常难过的遥远。。
奋斗里也好，什么都好。记住！！！

几二

刚刚落幕的几二，
让我体会到好多不同样的感觉。。

如果，我今天还是跟你在一起的话。。
我应该不太可能参加吧。。
还是会担心，我跟其他的女生乱乱的搭讪。。
我希望你明白，我在好多年前。真的不知道那就是
搭讪，很单纯的以为，搭讪就是要号码，要约会。。

没想到，这就是我们时常争论的话题，
现在的我懂得要怎样在这话题里，回避，
肃静。。谢谢你。。

我在去年，不止吧，
在那两年里，我得到都是你。。
你把我推到我的能量的最高点。。
我的所作所为，全天下都知道。。
别担心。。你的秘密，没人会知道。。
那些日子，我怎样熬过，我也不想记得了。。

很久很久，没那么放肆的去结交朋友。。
留恋你，一定会，爱着你，还是的。。
现在这刻，还是非常的挂念。。

你能告诉我答案吗？那晚，我真的很想知道。。

ya.. i stil keep my eyes on u.. still owndering if u still miss me.. like a kid waiting his gift to be arive and being anxious..

i still loving you and this is for sure.. if a lie that i say i will be happy as u being happy..
i miss u .. i read the messages las 2 night.. ya.. is complete alot of misundertsand from me to u.. but u are stil the special one t me..
the way im talking to u.. i never use it on other ppl.. i miss it so much much.. is all im gonna do.. i gonna love you and so much..

im stil waiting the ans..

and for the record.. i drop my iphone into the washing machine.. i try being calm as the irst minute but i worries start as i cannot get back all the photo n message in it.. i miss all th cnversation inside.. who knows if i stil can have the message like i used to have..
i hop what arrange of serendipity .. i hope what is onto me is at least ever happen onto u...

Just finish my facial.. hehe.. just had my face done sui sui..
 at there.. heard a rather sad and sorrow story..

she waited her bf or years.. thy been together for 8 years.. and she left her a few days ago..
alot of reason since her bf is doing drugs and also having unknown sex partner..
so SHE LEFT...

she is trying very hard to forget and she is trying super hard to overcome it..
she is just a wall behind but i really can feel her tears and feelings that crumbles in her minds and the deep curt on and into the heart is so obvious..

U left or i left bie??
i dunno.. i am stil thinking..
i  work very hard and every hard effort to have you stay and i really did..
i love you and for this seconds i am aware of that..

i will continue my single life and be waiting here to hears the answer..

do u still remember.. the days..

where you dress up well just to show off in front of d scrren with me??

stil remember we stay up til midnite to celebrate each birthday..

we use to do that.. celbrate valentim..

celbrate my birthday..

i never miss evything of u when i started to knw u..

i love who you are.. i really do.. i wan to be again..

i love the true feeling where i am stil having now.. this is how i feel.i dunno about you..

it hurt me d most that night..

with hurts im typing this and with tears as dropping as im typing this..

i never kiss and hold onto others besides you..

i love you adn i stil do..

i love my birthday.. caus after so many years of sadness i dun have my party.. i dun have my own cakes..

but i have 2.. i love it.. i have 2 cakes.. i love you..

i love you

看回那回忆，感伤。。

学着放开。。好多事都不看好我们。。爱不到。。

选择了，该离开。。

我前天，回到你家门口前。。

不知怎么形容。。

好想看看我到底在哪？

还是没进步，还是已经走远了。。

很乱的心情。。很差的我。。

今晚，我生病了。。

但，我还是爱着你。。

还是一个人。。习惯？不知道~~

突然，想要一个人，放开自我。。

就带着疲惫的心情。。冲上云霄。。

带着这样的感觉，走到了那。。

回忆如海浪，涌进了脑海。。

眼泪还控制得住。。但，心情的凌乱，复杂，忐忑。。

样样到齐。。 也许，你真的有想起我。。

我也希望，这也许是也许。。

那晚，月光特别圆。。

冷风跨过了手指间，好空虚，好孤独。。

那晚，笑声特别亮。。

我拖着孤单的身影，一个人慢慢的在那里徘徊。。

那晚，我想起你了。。

就 算 世 界 末 日 来 临 了 ， 但 有 了 你 ， 我 不 怕

【12星座喜欢的恋人类型】
牡羊座（神秘）
金牛座（老好人）
双子座（互相尊重）
巨蟹座（无私的耐心）
狮子座（自信热情）
处女座（不存在那么完美）
天秤座（外表出众，内涵非凡）
天蝎座（脾气温和）
射手座（害羞）
摩羯座（头脑精明）
水瓶座（知己）
双鱼座（梦幻）

我给的耐心就真的不够吗？？两年？？

不能抵挡他的两天吗？？

思念的疼痛，爱沵的幸福

【十二星座眼中的爱】

双鱼座（爱是同情）、天秤座（爱是优雅）、
天蝎座（爱是狂热）、金牛座（爱是耐心）、
双子座（爱是谅解)、水瓶座（爱是包容）、
射手座（爱是诚实）、巨蟹座（爱是奉献）、
处女座（爱是纯洁）、狮子座（爱是奇迹）、
牡羊座（爱是天真）、摩羯座（爱是成熟）。

我要的，不过就是你对我的诚实。。

你要的，不过就是我对你的奉献。。

我没做到吗？？

终于，到了一个段落。。
爱累了。。
爱也走了。。

那天晚上，雨一直下。。
稀里哗啦的不停。。
我在那里，将我自己放开了。。
将我所爱的割爱了。。

我看到，他的一举一动。。很紧张。。很想很期待的去迎接一个人。。
这就是我所看到的。。
我在期待，到底我的prediction在这一年内可能实现吗？

我不知道。。但，我清楚那个眼神。。
很清楚的记得。。
我永远都不会忘记。。

我学会了很多。。在这和两年里。。
很多的开始，待人处事。。 2 年啊！！！

我想看看明年到底老蔡说的准不准。。哈哈。。

这回记忆我最不想给人知道的一面。。
我的脆弱将转化变文章，带出我的心情。。

loving u

ia now the middle of the night..

i am all like that.. stil in lovve..

i never afraid of love .. never.. although i been through a very hard times for myself..

i know how my strength can go until the very deep end and i know how much pain i can handle..

with in me.. with in love.. i learn..

love brings me joy..

it help me to love.. love to forgive.. but never forget..

love to workhard.. but know wen to pt my hair down..

love to another person.. but also not every single one..

love is a kind things..

u said u never wanted to love again.. u are tired with it..

i dunno. mayb someday u will get it..

it was never easy.. but to me.. i think it also the hardest part..

20 i learn to forgive..

20 i learn to workhard on my own feet..

20 i learn to give and take..

20 i learn to love Dabie..