i think off.. that night.. when ur birthday..

i wish.. i have a birthday like u..

mayb there no ppl will celebrate for me.. but at least everything is in plan..

i hope u won fight back with me..

i hope u can admit ur mistake..

i hope u can learn alot more than me..

i hope there are no arguement that night..

no..

there is nothing that night.. no photo and no nothing..

i hope some one will do it by heart.. nt las min buy a birthday cad..

very sui bian..

i lastim is just vry sui bian.. so i lost u.. i lost myself bz i too ask for more too myself and ourself..

i m crying n who knows.. u nvr knw.. u will nvr know.. all my ffeling is here.. when will u knw.. this is all my history.. for 2 years.. i changed.. i love u..

i never love a person..

今天，我二十岁了。。

恭喜，终于也给你盼到了。。

谢谢。。谢谢一路走来的痛。。

谢谢。。谢谢一路陪伴的苦。。

谢谢。。谢谢一路拥有的伤。。

这次，真的是一个人。。

一个人的生日，一个人的寂寞。。

泪在流，不停啊！！

孤单在伴随，不爽啊！！

真的不知道怎么办好。。

不是我不爱你。。

爱得非常勇敢。。爱得非常真诚。。

爱得非常体恤。。爱得非常真心。。

我不知道你想要什么。。

我真的不知道。。

没关系。。 我真的没关系。。只要你开心就好。。

我爱你。。

吃着我自己卖给我自己的蛋糕。。

今晚，我真的是一个人。。

Remember.. those days.. when u tick ur our days of meeting each others..
everyday we are counting.. every single moments.. we are sharing.. u know why we are hoping and wishing for those moments to come.. cause.. those moments are just too little to share.. just too little times to be together..

when those moments become alots.. alot in the term of seeing each others a lot.. we will start to neglect all those little things.. cause always thought that there are chances for us to repair the mistake that we made. the mistake that we did.. not so much beeing appreciate..

actually.. the feel is there as more requirement are adding in..
the love is there as more appointment is falls onto us..

bie.. i hope when u reads this.. u know how i gave upfor u..
im not being childish..
but im being a person that would let go my ego to protect this relation ship..

is been a long quest for u.. and u accomplished it..
is a hard one.. i know.. is a hard one..
is so hard that u tends to give up.. is so hards n tends to let so many misunderstanding between us..

but now.. i know something.. which is.. patient rule.. with logical thinking and alots of the things that u thought me.. i feel i really do helps and time may tested it wen i am so weak..

i really hope i can do better and do lots more better then now.. i am imporving..
please dun leeave me.. so many bye bye dis few days.. and wen u look back.. is hardly to c one which really do make it strong enuf to seperate us..

allhamdullilah.. lov eu always..

is a hardful days for u.. a very hard one.. always love and love.. cause that the strongest bond i trust on..

always.. so many things happens n ur mood begin more n more worst.. so hard so hard..
i want to know.. i want to help.. but.. things was never easy for me..

loving u is so hard but so love.. is easy n so much crushing..i love u..

moving house.. ur mood ur fwenn.. think about it.. wen u c dis blog u will know.. dis few dsay.. nt easy..

nvr gv up...
nvr ever..

i love u..

Boebie.. U gt so much tim msg with other.. Gt so many tim check in am pit.. din even c wat i post on ur wall.. Hw?? I post on ur wall.. I wrpte it by myself.. Haiz.. Sienzzz.. Plz la.. I du no hw.. I hope i do wat i do amd appreciate..

I dun wish nextim my son or my daughter hav to gonto clubing n talk thr.. I dun wan.. Y wan lil tat?? U love ypur fam bt d way of cpmunication.. Hopelesss.. Is not d way is rational n do gud.. I really prefer sit down n talk.. Talk frm
D day til nite.. If tats a special way of comunicate i think is a way to listen n talks..

U nvr listen to me.. Nvr.. Always say u knw u knw.. Bt.. Wen do u knw really act.. Cn u knw act?? Plz.. I wan knw..

Everynite clubing.. Consider plz.. U angry on wat i do.. Cn i angry.. I heartbrake.. Wen u read dis.. I knw.. U will say i did dis before.. Bt i knw.. Wen i let u read dis.. U chg already.. Everytim ubec everytim u club.. Think about it..

Hw i feel.. Hw i cry.. Hw my tears go.. Let it be.. Let me b sad.. Lst me b beartbroke.. Let it all my hashful feeling go ba.. Haiz.. Suan le..

选择，我爱的。。
你在乎吗？？
我爱的。。我爱自由。。
爱怎么了？ 真的要牺牲吗？？

我要牺牲很多才得到你。。
我真的，，在考虑。。
我要想得很清楚。。
人，真的自私的。。

救命。。我好像有人能为我解答。。谢谢。。

it's been quite a long time since the last post.. about more than a month..
an extreme and exotic month i have.. so much pain and so much effort i put in..
but in contrast.. i get back so much love and also the care i desire off..
alots of truth that really have spike on them.. mostly do hurts and will leave a big scar that really seen..

but.. i really do did wrk hard on my temper.. my anger and my furious.. i try to control my own feeling of curious coz.. i t really kills me.. slowly and deathly..
is a habit that i hope myself would shift to things that are more matters in my life..

bie..
one day u will c dis blog..
c whre i transform.. whr i have my anger and temper all groups together..

i wish u do understand.. is a long process and is a process that i nid to be thr..
i love u only and love u always.. plz.. have the same to me.. i really hope.. love u bie..
mwahs..

原来，我还是很伤心。。
还是，在乎所发生的一切。。

我不知道!!!
我真的不知道。。
我有多大的能耐。。
我的忍耐的极限。。

我常爱挑战自我。。
想看一看，我到底能跳多高。。
能跳多远，我能做些什么。。

我爱你。。我知道。。
我很爱你。。但，
看到那些回忆。。
我真的很伤心。。
心如刀割。。狠狠的一把刀。。
将我最在乎的心给插的支离破碎。。

我好痛好痛。。
我好爱好爱。。
我不要。。不要再回到那两个礼拜。。

我恨我自己。。
我真的恨讨厌我自己。。
我爱你。。洛暄。。我爱你。。

U said im childish.. A lot of childish..
I just want to tel u now how i feel.. I really so so sad..
U wan he use ur straw infront of me.. Wat do u wan to show.. U may say.. Tat tim u r nt my bf.. Any1 can do so.. But bie how about gt a person tat love n care so much beside u.. Yes love u bt nt have to be together.. But can u consider how the person that love u feel .. How is his feeling.. Even though u wane dobso cn do it wen he is nt around.. Do u care how his feeling is..

Yes.. He wwn out n cry out loud.. Bang his head to the wall and slap himself to wake himself to b awake.. But plz remember.. He is thr n how much his eart felt sweing so.. 2 years ago.. He is lik dis.. Wen u tel him how u felt he stop doing so.. But now u are dping dis.. Is it only wen u are bf n gf baru u gv responsible to him?? Even thoigh he left out all thimgs to b with u.. Plz b understandung.. Dis is..

U now seeing this is 2 years lata.. 2013.. I dunno.. I just love u..
Jarvin love dabie

sad.. ya.. the only feeling accompanied now..

even i want to pei u.. i still nid other approvals.. how am i??
or i should say.. what am i??

i am really a nobody but nobody..
i dun have the right to be with u..
i still nid other ppl approvement from ur fwen..

i dunno.. i love u..

priority??
i am no more ur priority..

how sad that is.. a very sad news to me..
am i just realize to day.. ya.. i just did..

i willing to let go anything beside u..
u willing let go me for anything..

how is this? nice? love.. i dunno..
dun ask myself all these question that i had no ans to..
i really felt hurt..
u are who to me? a person that i plan to spend the rest of my life with.. howsad..
who u are spending with.. a person that will accompanied u everyday for the next 2 yeas.

yeah. indeed is a very sad story..
i am sad.. but i am not going to cry.. i will have my crying my yelling my everything in my heart.. how much more it can with stand.. i dunno,. i know i am getting more and more not me..

i wane find myself back.. help me.. help me find myself back..

女人的可爱，是你知道什么时候撒娇，什么时候安静。
没有哪个男人会喜欢在他公事繁忙、焦头烂额的时候，还撒娇装嗲的女人。
女人的美丽，是你知道什么时候妖艳，什么时候端庄。
没有哪个男人会喜欢在一堆对你已是垂涎的男人面前，还搔首弄姿的女人。
女人的智慧，是你知道什么时候妥协，什么时候坚持。
没有哪个男人会喜欢天天死钻牛角尖，即使错了，还坚持己见、食古不化的女人。
女人的善良，是你知道什么时候热情相迎，什么时候冷眼相对。
没有哪个哪人会喜欢天天以在世基督为行为准则的女人。

如果你真的爱一个人，就不要在他离开你的时候，才哭诉他的负心，哀怨自己的可怜。
请想想怎样的你、怎样的努力、怎样的经营才可以让这段感情走的更加长远。

女人是感性的动物，在爱情里，我们都会迷失自己，被爱情牵着鼻子走。
慢慢的，他成了你生活的全部重心。
也就是这样，你给的越多、爱的越多，你想要得到的也就越多。
你的心变成了深渊，他再多的努力也填补不满，忘了彼此的空间。

有人问过我，是不是很羡慕那些同班的情侣，其实真的没有。
我们现在还很年轻，因为想和他携手今生，所以我知道我们未来的路还很长，
现在空间、时间上我们的距离是对我们最好的磨练。

有人说，这个时代的爱情经不起考验。
我不同意这个观点，就是因为我们在这个时代，我们的爱才更应该考验。
也许我和大家不太相同，对我而言，谈恋爱和谈婚论嫁差别很大。
前者只要彼此喜欢，看着舒服就可以，而且在一起的时候不用考虑太多。
可后者截然不同，我对婚姻有很高的要求。
两个人因为爱情而结合，组建一个家庭，就应该承担这份责任，供养老人、教育子女、牵手今生。
对我而言，爱情可能廉价，但婚姻和家庭是绝对的神圣和圣洁，不容他人有一点玷污。

我就是那种典型会被爱情牵着鼻子走的女生，我爱他，我就会天天想着他，无时无刻、分分秒秒。
我会挂念他、担心他、惦记他。
会为他的喜而喜，为他的忧而忧。
我会以他的喜好为喜好，以他的厌恶为厌恶。
但即使这样，我永远都还是记得妈妈的一句话，“不要让爱情摧毁了你，消灭了你”。
即使我的这颗心都用来爱你，我还是独立的个体。

不要为了爱情而把自己踩到土里，那样的你，并不伟大。
这个时间早就不需要什么牺牲精神。
你的疯狂，只会让你爱的人害怕。
尊重他，却也不轻贱自己。
你想做他生命幽谷中的百合，那么，你绝对不能只是泥土。

女人，即使你有了爱人，也还是要光鲜亮丽，不是你不安分，相反，这是因为你爱他。
人都是爱新鲜、爱刺激、甚至喜新厌旧的，我感觉这没什么不好，人类也正是因为这样的本性才不断发展。
永远不要抱怨你的他为了谁而抛弃了你，你为何不想想你为什么没有留住他，让他走向了她。
女人就天生应该百变，一成不变不是女人的天性，那只是一具没有花蕊的花朵，没有蜜蜂来采集你的甘甜，你的生命没有办法继续。
女人，你应该永远都有你的神秘感，岁月的流失绝不是敷衍的借口，她给你的血液都注入魅力，就像花朵，即使枯黄，但还有迷人的馥郁芬芳。

如果当一个男人要离开你，你可以挽留，但当这没有用的时候，就放手，至少放开他的手。
然后，你可以在他看不见的地方，痛哭、绝食、用尽一切手段来折磨自己，以此来麻痹自己他离开的事实，
但，当你们再次见面的时候，请抬高你的头，骄傲的和他寒暄，高傲的欢笑，让他知道，没有他的时间，你依然很好。

亲爱的，我想你知道。
如果，我是说如果，如果有那么一天，我成为了你的包袱，压在你肩上，停留了你前进的脚步，我会离开。
这样，当有一天，你登到了山顶，看看停在那里的我，还有说那是我曾经真爱过的人。

如果，我是说如果，如果有那么一天，你奔跑在我的前头，我会让你继续向前，然后看着你不断的告诉自己，加油，努力。
然后当你等到山顶，一回头，我还在，等我一下，就牵手一辈子。

is fri day.. a day after everything seems so perfect.. i remember ur talk on lasnite cafe.. says.. u choose ba.. whether u want me go cameron or u want me go to clubbing..why u want me to make a choice of like this.. i dunno.. dun force me please..i wont bend mty knee down on others things or people..but in fornt of u.. there are no me.. no more self respect to myself..i have to lower down myeverything to be in love with u..
is not hard cause i know it pay off.. but please dun do things i dun like .. help me by helping urself..

i dunno..when u say so.. i dunno.. i dunno what to say.. i felt dumb ass.. i felt i am worth nothing..love..u make it hard but i will get through it..

my 6 sense.. never been so nice before..
i go and settle ur ticket.. how? i go til kl sentral and do.. wait and wiat.. is ok.. cause is for u.. money is ok.. is for u.. time is ok is for u.. my everything is ok is for u..
thse things shouldshow to u when u are matured.. i dunno i will c..

later.. i go and buy ur bb.. is hard for me to ask for others help piack me here and there.. but lucky.. people are kind to me..i am lucky.. i got all these fwen but why i din do bad with them..

bie.. i love the way u are..

u ask me to call u up at 6.. but.. i dunno.. when i cal.. u said.. i amtalking to u when u are halfway sleeping.. i dunno if i did rite or wrg.. u post on bcf wall.. hi fan.. why never hi vin.. i saw back all those msg with u d..it make me felt more bad.. very single day i cried.. how much more tears do i have for u.. i love u.. and i get u..

the way i want to celbrate ur birth day.. saying form these early month till now.. u still said want to confirm with me.. is ok.. if i cannot do so.. i will leave all things in ur doorstep.. i wan brg u to eat in a luxury place.. i duuno..u want go with fwen and other.. i dunno.. please.. known me nderstan me.. love me... love me more.. undertsan all my feelings ok.. i just want that,, ur fwen is important but how about me??

m i gonna be with u for the rest of ur life.. yesh i do.. i really do.. i vrying now.. in my heart,, for the birthday plan i do.. i cannot plan if u dun give me a actual time.. please.. please.. for god sake .. understan me.. this is not anger.. but sadness.. alove to other that work hard till no body will for everything i do.. i do love u.. please love me more.. know my feeling.. i know ur's.. whenever will u know mine.. i love u..
i love u.. i love u.. i hope i have my feeling recorded down.. i dunno.. i felt more sadness then hapiness..

no people says it is owrth it but with just a kiss just everything on the line.. i am willing to risk my everythimg for u.. why.. why never u get it.. if u really want celbrate with me.. why can't i cancel..
i cannot let u c dis now..

u wil say how selfish i am.. but i jsut want to say how hard i work on.. is not i din plan well is everything u agve me is las min..i love u.. i love u..
dabie.. please understan me abit..

u care.. but do i really seems not care.. i have to act hapy.. i am no like those..

thrus

thise thursday.. i go pasar malam w u.. i m afraid.. i dun wan u to walk.. cause really.. u are not suitable for that life.. dun ask me why i felt so.. after 2 years of this post u will c.. how am i goin to get thru this days..

i will workhard for a car.. u dun have confident to me.. how much i do and done..
i am afraid doing mistakes in front of u.. it was never easy to say sorry..
i know i got the wrong turn.. i am sorry..
i love u and i am sorry..

u told me how much he and u spending time.. he brg u to the mountain.. whr and whr.. i would also like to do so.. i dun have car because my family.. i know.. i know how much my family can do.. and my family.. how much i can do for them.. he is richer thn me now.. in10 years time.. we will c about than..

u say u think of him when he holds ur hands.. is the revenge u want from him.. i dunno how could u let him to touch anypart of ur body.. i am so sad.. so hurted.. i felt sadfor u.. i am sad.. very bt u will never understan.. cause i won let anyone touches me.. never will.. cause i am caution.. i love u..

there are many ways to express our anger and many ways to help ourselves from the canyon of dissapoinment.. but.. she choose the wrg ways..

u care more their feelings than i do.. u know i dun mind ma? i do mind.. i do love u very much.. i do want us to be together.. please.. help me.. don hurt me le..
i felt the pain of everything... is very pain..is taken away from me..

whenu holds my hands in the street of dark.. i felt happy.. i felt love is ther.e..
i am willing to be the man at your bcak..non much people will do so.. a man at the back.. how much people will do so.. i love like a girl..but i must act like a men..

i am happy when u talk to me that night it just like old time.. i dunno if is a dream of mind or a truth reality.. i have my joy.. my hapiness.. my forever..

the wed..

i stop write for these few days because.. i felt happy..
although 3 assignment.. all these.. i can do it.. i will do it and i want to do it..
is worth it..

is wedday.. i went out with danz..
i dunno.. while i am watching movie.. i felt i felt i cannot go dinner with u.. with more and with less..u felt unhappy.. u felt it is i dun tak k of u..
i really do tak k of u..

then i was so headache.. i wanted to get back and rest..
and as it.. i felt im in hypoglycemia.. i felt that.. but.. with all the determination..
i go find u.. all the way from bukit bintang to taman bahagia..
just for that.. if only i can c u for a seconds.. i could c u smile to me.. i know it.. i felt it is worth it.. that is the motivation that drove me all the way to it..
it is something that worth it..

love is not about how much that person giv u.. is after what u have done.. another partner of u.. give out a pointer.. i hope i have a good grade..
i brg the water for u.. is worth it..i din tak dinner tat day.. cz i spend more le..
is ok.. i can pay it bec.. it is then all the way from there back to jln ipoh..
is not the distance that will tear me apart.. is the love i din get form u.. the smile the joy that is not for me that will tear me apart..

how hard will the heart felt abiut this.. how i would felt about this..
is it under ur consideration.. i get home beacuse i know the fear in it.. the worries of ur love one get back late with all the possible of bad things to happen.. i have all those thought and all the consequences.. how about u? i would like to know..

u are the only one who makes me cry.. who make me happy and would i live for..

i just need a morning..
after 3 exhausted assignment.. i am tired le..
but with your that kiss..
it is worth it.. it never was about what meal or what present in return..
a thankyou.. a hug.. a mwahs.. is all above the air.. all on the top of the world..
i love u..

all and all.. i just need a morning..is ............MORNING VIN!! im saying to myself..

*u said over nick chan profile.. while me..doing your work hard.."* not asking for complishment.. but just need the cherish from u..
i love u..

i really do.. wen u c dis.. u are so matured at that time le.. so matured.. this is wat u did when u are a gal..

Dear.. If u are sick thn dun online le ok ma?? I really no wan u gt 2 those boy.. Im jealous.. Bt wat can i do?? Really ntg tat. Can do.. Go slp early ok?? I really dun wan u gt sick.. I wan go c u.. I really do.. I love u n love u vry much.. Plz dun b stupid tat think one day im nt thr loving u.. Is impossible and will nt happen.. I love u with all my heart.. Ya im jealous vry jealous.. Hw cum i nid hide my identity to be with u.. I dun gt it.. U cn tak every1 as ur nice bro n sis i dunno y.. Mayb i m nt gud in ren yuan..

i willing to..
i am willing to do ur hmwrk.. i ask for nothing as return..
i knw i said u no nid to have responsible to me..
but.. sometim i just want a cal.. a voice that strengthen me..
a person that brought me up from death..

i really nid ur voice..
i love u

is the best night i had been in kl..
it was the best night..
although no hands are hold, no hugs are made.. but,
the kiss on the forehead .. perfect everything.. is so nice unique and love..
i know how long i have to wait..
and i will.. i got the numbers..
i got the everything..
i will wait..

cause it is waiting for u.. Dabie.. u will c this 720 days later..
tat is the digit..

Result

Yesterday was d result releasing date.. I was not abit of nervous.. I was all heart on ur meeting with him.. It was a feeling of waiting with alot of hopes bt d hopes are really smal chances.. I love always how we are.. But.. All in the sudden.. I receive ur message that told me that u din't accept him.. I was blown out from the sky and up up to the air.. I was so happy and npt felt a little feel of tiredness.. U gave me every hopes that i could find on this world.. Thanks.. It was the best result i ever got..

i love u..
this is a passage i will start before i move on..
i want to move forward and get back up from where i falls..

getting falls this time is really a hard fall for me..
it was so easy for everything i try.. i never felt it was hard..
it is.. i take every thing so easily..
yes.. i will continue to use full words of message or even email..

that is what you require from me..
the reason why i use my own creation of short forms is i want people to know me.. know who i am .. by bringing my very own personalities.. so special and unique that no one would have..

it was never easy to love you..
you said you gave up so much to love me.. scarifier so much to love me..
i am too.. i bet everything on the table of i have to come here..
i let go the chances to go into local U.. u can say this is very selfish..
but i will never tell you..
you said something i said is to make you felt guilty but not.. i just want you to know..
knowing the truth of why and the moderation i do this.. and did this..i did it..
i manage to come to kl and continue our love..
but never in my mind that this situation of fairytale will end up this way..

i dun want you come to meet me is want you not anything could happen to you.. i love you.. yesh.. u told me that the incident i say no is before the incident of taxi happen.. that is what we call prevention..

i prevent any of the unpleasant situation to happen.. but, no matter how hard i try.. it still happen.. never the blame or the fault on u.. cause, you don't know how much i care.. i speak silently.. i speak endlessly i speak with the language of love..

u said you miss him but in the same time you hates him.. what is that mean? it mean you are not satisfy this man taking advantage of you and letting yourself to make a revenge.. is a attitude to be prevent.. is a kind of madness that will finally destroy yourself.. when it all ends.. all falls apart who is the one who is still picking up the scattered pieces at the back and try to make it all back to become one and pleasure it with all his heart.. i am sure i will do so to you only..

i hope for so much not to happen.. i change my attitude.. i don't know if i have any chance to celebrate lovely time with you as a couple anymore.. maybe what lo chai said is really correct..i will cherish every moment.. every seconds of love.. every love that i manage to handle and love it with love..

now think back.. is it that much love i gave is not happiness.. i going on from morning till night at your home and go work less time is it not a appreciation or a thank you but worries and a lot of worries.. i really did not know.. but now i know..

words of you last night really is a wake up call for me.. knowing what mistake i did all this long.. all this while and love in a wrong way.. today.. my result of life.. FIS result and the result from the meeting of you and him.. which one more scary and important.. neither scary or important.. cause dabie has my whole heart.. nothing in this world matter.. you want to reunite with him? ok.. go ba.. is a choice of your's and i respect it..

but.. i am not happy with the choices you made.. i felt regret and endless of anger.. is this so hard to make the right choice.. is it so hard? people will not always be in the spot light of everyone.. yes, you love the attention and the spotlight but humans will one day grow up.. when that day come.. i hope you know.. u know what i need to do..

is me selfishness had make me play a hard game in here? or is misunderstanding steps in and mess all up.. i don't know.. i wish i could.. i could know.. i wish so hard for ebeything for the best to happen.. i love me.. but me love u..

dabie.. dabie dabie..
i am still loving you.. why??
i don't know.. after so many so many of painless night.. tear-less night..
last night was a night that i cannot sleep.. i stay awake till i saw the sunrise.. i thought it could be a new day for everything except me..
my sadness and loneliness is still there.. is still haunting me..
i wish i could say i love you and end up with my knife into my stomach and all end up just like this..

i wish.. i so much pain but i think this is the pain that i deserve.. let me help you to forget him ok? let me help you out ok ma?

i love dabie koh nguk suan..
i love 许洛萱。。

no more me myself.. going on now..

is the love who make me falls or you.. i love all u and i love only u.. i hopes there is ffeling in my words..
i felt helpless and lost..
i felt no love..
the heart is pain.. is so much pain..
reading all the things i work hard on.. i love u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love all of u.. i love every part of u..

i wish there are someone listen to my feelling.. i am down.. i am only me..
tears accompany me everynight..
i dunwan other boys have their hands on u..

yesh i am stupid.. i am so clever until i falls in love with you..
there was never such a gals who gave me so much hurt and i stil love her..

is not about the hurts nut the love that all of me giving..

i want i want only u..

anything anythings would i give up to have my hands on u even for a seconds..
i love dabiekoh..

我爱你。。
我好想大大声的告诉你！！！！

我在流泪。。心在痛。。
过了那么久。。我还是放不开。。

我好爱你。。我爱你。。
我好想对你说。。

我真的好爱好爱你。。
我真的。。

我真的是真心的爱你。。
不要，我不要这样的生活
我的耐心。。我的考研

我没错。。我真的没错。。

我找对了。。我爱对了。。

我要忍耐。。我要我要爱到你。。

做了那么多。。
那么得多。。

我爱她。。
非常的爱。。

爱，真的那么难吗？
真的那么苦吗？？

不，不苦。。一点都不苦。。
我愿意。。

当我对你说出我愿意时。。
我不成后悔过了。。爱

爱到一点都非常的值得。。


萱，我爱你。。

看着吧。。
http://baike.fututa.com/birth/19910628.html 永远要看这个。。
http://baike.fututa.com/a5701/

滑冰

滑冰。。
你还记得第一次吗？
我带你去滑冰，那次。。你怎样说都不要去。。

你怕跌到，怕戳伤。。怕被人笑。。
我说：‘没关系。。有我就好。。’

我为你挡住了无数次的跌倒。。
让你跌了又再站起来。。
我不厌其烦的将我自己当着你的人肉墙。。

终于，你学会在冰块上站起啦。。
我很高兴。。我让你克服了苦难。。
克服你觉得不可能的事。。

萱，我会帮你客服所有的障碍。。
我不会放弃，而，只有我做的到。。
doremi dududu lululu~~

is not so easy to realize.. i knw tat to myself..
actually.. it was not so hard to be true..

i love me myself.. but dear.. u knw hw much i love u..
i really love u soo much..
u said u love me so much but when was tat?? izit a past tense or a present??

for me.. there was never a past or a present.. i
im always love u.. never love so much.. never love so less..

mix..

is a mix feel of happiness and sad and also anxiousness.. and also FEAR..

hppiness..
is beacuse u awake from the mistake that u made..
made a right choice and move along.. for it and that is..

anxiousness..
anxious of how life would be after the dramatic changes..
how would things be like as the wrold keep goin and i am stil standing stil here..

FEAR
fear of what could probally happen after u leave him..
will another him stepping into ur world or how it would be like..

i dunno..
and i wait patiently to know the truth..
i know is too hard for me to wait than any thing else in this world..
i will work hard on my patient..

is the dream that i had.. i love it..
i know who you are.. and because of that.. u did a choice..

im sad cause after the choices you did.. nothing went back to what we use to be..
how it is gonna have this way that all of me can accept every of ur actions now?

im thinking and wondering..
always there wondering..
not now mayb.. mayb lik lo chai said.. 2 years later..
is so hard to know when and how and where will the things get united..

so i will wait..
wait til .. i know everything will go fade but not my love to u..

HP

where are u??

where are the u who love to beauty by showing it with attitude..
not showing off with your body..

i know there are you inside.. inside the deep in the heart..
how i should do and do everything to take you out from there??

how long will this battle last..
i wish that i know..
i know really start wishing ..

HOPE..i really nid more then HOPES..

selfishness..

im a selfish person..
i hate to share you beauty with other..
i really don't like it..

i love the way you are last time..
not showing off to the world how beauty you are but showing it how nice u are as a person..
beauty will fade as time goes by..
wrinkles will left it footsteps on every path way of life that we been through..

My love to you will never fade as time past by.. never ever will..
is dun like what you did today.. totally dislike..
but.. wat am i to u? what can i do??

' Who ever knew we will be more than friends...'
this was the song i started to believe when that night of the car ride with you..

since then my whole life is surrounding you..
u make my Christmas even more cheerful more meanings to it..

it was not an easy task for loving you.. and i never give up..
i believe what i love.. i never give up..

im the idiot that still believing this extraordinary feeling the chemistry between us..
is nothing else but the same feeling that falls on me 2 years ago..

i love you and i always will do so..
doremi dududu lululu~~

It was nvr easy for me.. I wish i could i could do alot more thn nw.. I dunno y u so lik surrounded by male??
Y?? I nvr got it.. Yesh i trust too much of u.. I have 2 much confident on u..
Im feeling different nw.. Is ok..
I will wait.. Wait for forever n ever..
Im silly n dumb.. Im in LOVE

Las night was d night we talk for so long n calm after all dis happen.. Today I gonna meet her bt I reli felt lik dis is d 1st Tim I'm dating w a gal.. I dunno wat 2 expect n wat to prepare.. Yesh I love u bz u r dabiekoh n we love ea other bz love is blind..

Dream

Is something Im hoping I dream about one of d happiest thing tat ever happen.. I love the way the dream act.. D dream tat after so long it never happen.. I know d thing between us.. Really d thing is stil thr n I stil there n I strongly believe it.. No matter hw d world turn in n out.. I'm stil standing stag here.. Doremi always

is stil here.. waititng.. silently..

hoping tat u wil be bec.. into the palace tat love u d most..

i really.. love all about u.. love all is u..

but.. loving u now.. is all i can do and not doing it..

loving u in my heart.. but i cannot get near to u..

i love and i do love..

i i i.. love til where the no roads seems a end..

no time seems forever..

til no more thn no more..

u siad.. u hope there is some1 tat wil understand u even u are not talking.. i think. i can do so.. loving u always.. love love..

I saw ur miscall in d middle of d nite.. I was cry nervous.. Vry nervous.. It was thn 0030.. I keep calling until I dunno hw many calls I made.. Is too much.. I was nvr in tat situation whr I cal til I dunno hw many.. I dunno y im lik tat.. I fal asleep bout 3am.. Until thn sure the is more thn hundreds of calls.. I dunno.. I fal asleep.. I wak up bout 6 o 7 n start cal agn.. Until around 9 u and.. U said u r in his hs n d conversation las less thn a min.. I dunno izit worth it.. Call so many n d conversation tat last nt thn a min.. N u r at his place.. It torturing me.. I hop 1 day 1 day ebb u read dis.. U wil knw hw is my feeling towards u.. He much hurt had u gave me.. Hw much pain I bare w it for so lonng.. Tears is all I had nw..

I can't stand d way u reply me.. Short pointless n always only tat few words.. Yes u dun lik tat guy so wat 4 u think of his feeling.. He is a great pretender.. He sucks n u knw it bt y keep letting him ruin ur life.. Until wat steps of life would u lik he be in??
I dun gt it do I prefer nt to reply the.. Is hard 4 u I knw bt it is harder and lots more hard feeling 4 me tat probably won understand cz I nor out w a gal so late hug a gal hold a gal hand o kiss thm.. Is a feeling tat dabie could t understand..

all is me

another day another dawn..
i stil missing u..

alots of feeling running through..
i dunno hw can u enjoy ur life..

i really dun gt it..
i dunno hw and how u can enjoy ur life..

i am stil in the pain and always will stil in this road that never paint-less..
i stil holding the love tigh inside my fist.. i love all of me and all of me i love u..

tears stil drops as i misses u..

heart stil in a pain when i misses u..

how much long to the days in my dream to be true..

i dunno.. but with that silly heart i have..

i will wait..

wait til no one willing to wait for the time..

i loves u so much n i will continue to love so..

sssss

i found the truth..

truth that u stil have me.. truth that will nt lead me to anything else but stil waiting for u..

i do and i do.. never have the delay in answering this Q..
i love all parts of u and i hope u grow up from there..

yesh.. tat is me.. i love how the things work between us..
so much things and so much craps happen..

have ur eye wide open.. love is nt as easy as it seen cause.. we both make the mistake..

love me and love u.. bie
i miss u..

i wane hug u and alaways hugging u..
i nvr let other holds my hands..
i never let other have their hand s on my shoulder or even tears..
he is nt a guy tat suite u..
bie come bec asap..

there a silly waiting for u..

hi..
i miss u..

i still misses u.. very much..
he is saying morning to u which i will do everyday..
i stil wan to do so..

i love u..
i love evry part and never love who u are o who u were..
u are u..
we change according to situation and our perspective to d thing tat we undergo..

i dun change much.. mayb u din c it..
u will c it.. dear.. i stil want u to c it..

i love u u.. our inner self we never change.. tats our most trueself..
tat is d dabie i love and tat d dabie i want..

bie bie.. i love u.. <3

kch 2nd

it been d 2nd day bec here..
i stil misses u so much..

it been almost a month and i stil missing u..
i love my attitude..
d way i stay strong holding things i like..
d way i stay stubborn holdings things i love..

yesh.. i wil hold it strong.. i love u..
i will hold it tight because u are my one..

no matter how much d world change.. howmuch d things outside is lik..
i knw some part of u will never change.. some part yesh..
and now.. d part tat change chnage dramatically..

i love myself but i really love u more..
doremi..

is it..
im bec in kuching now..

i stil brg some part of our memories bec here.. bringing it always..
is d small little things tat will disappear easily broken easily and lost easily if ful attention is not at it..

so the thing is d little heart tat i gave u.. 25 dec 2009..
i wil brg it along n teach myself how to protect this little heart while u are not here..

doremi.. dududu lululu~~~

The night

This is d nite tat i first talk to tat male.. I duno wat happen..
Yeshbi wan talk to u but.. Reli.. I cannot approach u.. I cannot get near to u le..
Jz nw was rain and i all worry about u.. Hop u have ur ella w u..
I reli wan to tak k of u lik wat we use to be.. Love and love and love about u.. Please.. Love urself lik how i love u
I reli wil and hate him forever.. U wil c dis blog oneday..
Bie i love u forever d.. Doremi dududu lululu.. Love u always

it is very late now.. where are u??

out with those people again??

tis is kl.. nvr lik kch.. is so hard and so nt gud here..

i hope u knw d risk u are facing.. i hope and i pray u are always safe..

i love u and i do care..

i check every seconds for ur present in house or not??

loving u.. hell sure i stil love u.. is dangerous out there and go bec home..

always doremi.. love u..

I told

I told u i will b so busy til sep.. Tats d only thomgs i ask for.. For d peripd i nvr said i will
Let u learn how. is those fwen tat comtaminate ur mind pollute ur idea of thought.. Bie thy r nt gud d fwen. all of theor intership is nt gud.. I sense something bad goin to happen.. Plz b bec wen u feel hurt

today afternoon.. i felt alot on my left chest..

where my hearts lie.. i felt alot of pain onto it..

it is lik the feeling on the hearts.. so pain so love and so helpless..

i love the way u are.. i love how u are..

i never give up d.. so do u.. i hope i wish and i wait..

this morning.. i wake up..

i sen doremi to u.. always .. yesh and i saw wat he post onto ur wall..

if u dun lik it watfor u go and like.. dun be hard to ur own life le.. dun do bad to ur life le..

it is worthless doing so..

no point d.. dun b so degil le.. come back now ya.. come back..

it was a hard night lasnite.. no.. i din feel anything great about dis.. i am not feeling well

i cried as usual to sleep.. i wake up from tears..

come back now.. or late abit.. come.. i will always love u..

I

i always wake up from tears..

i always fall asleep in tears..

i had been a hard time for me.. for the past weeks and weeks and weeks to come..

i dunno why after u said the promise and yet u stil take the wrong turn..

i saw ur status said it is just simple sometim in life u cannot get wat u wan..

i knw i cant get u now..

i love u more than ever and everyday there is only increasing..

i knw myself n my heart..

i knw sometim i feel sienz about u..

i knw there is just a seconds i felt so and no more..

i know wat i nid to do now is wait..

i trust my sixth sense..

i hope i nvr fel me now..

DOREMI..

i miss u so much.. soooo muuuch now

im stil d one who concern..

yup..not only me concern about u..but tats d special me..

i know it and i gonna live with it..

i knw i am not the one that really let u felt wat ever it is..

bt in terms of tat watever is LOVE.. i love u and i knw it really hard and i know it well..

i love always.. plz do come bec soon..

i cried.. yesh i did cried.. i cried so hard for us.. i mean u..

i help to prevent everything that would possible happens happens..

i knw things would happens.. my sixth sense.. is always so just there..

told me wat i nid to do and do it immediately..

come back to me whn u had enuf out there..

i saw wat im not suppose to saw..

i am hurting myself everyday every seconds.. each time is abit more.. abit more than ever..

u are not lik wat u use to be..

u are friends with him agn.. ya him.. u knw wat he did to me.. hw much pain i suffer frm his words and how much he hates me and how much u supported me whn tat tim..

dun be a grass headed tat fall on both side..

if u reli lik be fwen with thm.. jz do so.. tel me.. i will knw the truth d..

he is adressing u dear now.. yup u agree to..

but whn u look bec to this ..

i hop u realize u make a mistake.. a great mistake..

yesh u will read this blog.. u will read it thru.. is a short or a long blog depends on hw long u wil b bec here.. the comfort zone..

do u knw.. hw much i love u..

i was thinking about u d whole day..

ua r elaughing with thm.. u are plying with another guy..

tat hurts alot..

no u din hurt me. is me myself thinking alots of u..

im d dumb idiot.. u nvr knw hw much i care.. hw much i love..

i reli do love u sooo much..

plz... b bec soon...

do u knw.. hw much i love u..

i was thinking about u d whole day..

ua r elaughing with thm.. u are plying with another guy..

tat hurts alot..

no u din hurt me. is me myself thinking alots of u..

im d dumb idiot.. u nvr knw hw much i care.. hw much i love..

i reli do love u sooo much..

plz... b bec soon...

do u knw.. hw much i love u..

i was thinking about u d whole day..

ua r elaughing with thm.. u are plying with another guy..

tat hurts alot..

no u din hurt me. is me myself thinking alots of u..

im d dumb idiot.. u nvr knw hw much i care.. hw much i love..

i reli do love u sooo much..

plz... b bec soon...

i saw u comment on their status..

i dunno why u wane do so..

it also things tat i dun lik..

u wane fwen w thm????

so lik..

after wat thy did.. are u pretending and stopping ur eager to b fwen w thm whn u are w me?? i love u..

i just ask this for a little did frm u.. u nvr listen...

i listen adn i live the way u ask for now..

no sms or wat so ever.. but why u wane do so??

plz b bec soon.. i knw i will forgiv u..

do u knw.. hw much i love u..

i was thinking about u d whole day..

ua r elaughing with thm.. u are plying with another guy..

tat hurts alot..

no u din hurt me. is me myself thinking alots of u..

im d dumb idiot.. u nvr knw hw much i care.. hw much i love..

i reli do love u sooo much..

plz... b bec soon...

i love u..

yesh i love my family but i love u d most..

two most important lady in my life are u and my mom.. yesh i love both of u..

i dissapointed u both and continue dissapointed u both again and again..

it fells sucks wen u told me in that tone that u will be with him.. i dun wan u gt hurt tat is why i choose.. to protect u.. in all ways..

i tried so hard cause i knw today wil come and i am afraid.. if everything was only for ur bes if only u could understand..

i love u the most..

im down

i dun get it..

im emotionally break down now..

i dunno y im so love u..

i wan to knw wat r u doin.. nt i always dun k about u..

i because i wan to know something.. i ask and wen i dun ask.. i look for it..

i dun talk on phone with u dis few months is because im busy.. i cn knw by lloking at

things.. tat onlytake me a few minute and u won feel lik reporting things to me..

i love u soooo much sooo much.. love u no matter wat

5th

我想你。。

i miss u。。

我将它发送给你。。

我真的。。啊啊。。真的没那么简单。。

我希望你会懂我。。我希望我真的能让你了解。。

我真的想要照顾你，但，又不敢打电话给你。。真的有点笨。。

害怕。。

也不知在帕什么。。

imu

kiss the rain..

i am learning this song.. i hope u like it.. u knw why..

i found tat in ur hp also gt dis song..

i reli miss u alot..

alot and alot more days of loneliness im alone facing.. i dun want..

love should not be this way and it not suppose in the love cycle of me n u..

i miss u alots.. i reli do love u.. i reli wan the person is u.. and only u..

a daywith u was't enuf .. u speak my language until someday.. some one step into ur life..

i hate thm alots.. i miss u bie

bie bie.. i miss u.,.

4TH

我就是不要让你受到今天的伤害，所以，我才放從你，让你去学习。。

知道，我知道你会华语了。。所以，这次没有翻译。。

傻瓜，不要再去受伤害了。。回来吧。。

这永远都会是你的避风港。。

我永远都会在这等。。好久啊。。

不知道要等到几时。。

我真的，好爱你。。好好爱。。没放弃过。。也没想不要爱。。

只是，我的方式用错了。。大错特错。。

不想去问，也不敢去问。。怕！！怕打扰了你。。

怕，让你觉得你自己很好了。。没人敢这样对你。。因为，你太值得人家去爱。。

那张脸。。那颗心。。我真的觉得我要很爱很爱你才行。。

13/05

今天的我，很好。。

为我的BIO加油。。因为星期一要考试了。。

我还是有流泪，我看到了大树叶。。

让我想起了，我要怎样帮你克服困难。。帮你克服障碍的人。。

你怕溜冰，我让我的身体当作定剑盘。。不在乎那一点点的痛，只要你没受伤。。

我相信你能，我每一次都相信。。相信你的能力。。相信你真的会做到。。

我刚才在那个冲凉房了哭。。想起了我们的一切。。

想起我要怎样面对我的生活。。我会准备好的。。为我的将来准备。。

后记！！！

喂。。我说过了。。那男的不是好人。。

他爱挣。。很会在爱情里扮演需要帮助的人。。没关系。。我知到我不是感情用事。。

这不是我一个人说了算。。有这样的证明。。宝贝。。等着瞧。。

尔。。。致以你，对说你。。假如说，你啊，在八月的时候你还没更她在一起。。

你有到古晋，哈哈哈哈。。等死吧！！！！！MAKULIU 超级白。。

你伤害了她，本少爷不会让你好过。。你等着瞧。。

2nd day

今天的我，也窝在厕所里痛哭。。哭得不想再哭了。。
很讨厌自己。。很讨厌自己的软弱。。不想要这样的我。。很不想。。

将头敲向那发黄的瓷砖。。在那么样的环境，释放自己。。
让我的苦完完全全的发泄在自己的身上。。

她，打给我。。说我所做的一切不对。。说我不了解他。。
我没有。。我真的已经面临绝路了。。我不知道该怎么办。。
我只知道要清醒。。
下午，还有考试。。

我真的错了。。错在哪？ 我真的不知道。。
我想让我们的感情走的更远。。更长久。。
我不知道。。我好想抱你。。我好想你。

眼泪，你不可以在流了。。你要好好的呆在眼睛里。。
我不要再流泪。。我要做更好的我。。我要。。当她回来时，我已经准备好了。。

10/05

这里会记载我的心情。。 她离开过后的我。。
我真的好傻。。在这时已经做好决定要继续的等下去。。
告诉怒，我真的很爱很爱她。。爱到无法抽离的地步。。